My husband and I both wanted to have a baby after about 2 years of being married, but we both agreed that we wanted to be more established and feel financially ready to raise a child. Meanwhile, we were feeling a lot of pressure from the "outside world" to start a family which was really hard because it's not that we didn't want kids, we just weren't ready.


Another year went by and we had moved out of our apartment and into a house. I was so excited for this move because I thought that since we had the space and I was off of birth control, a baby was sure to follow. A few days before our 3 year wedding anniversary I had minor day surgery (on my lady parts), and that meant I needed some time to heal. So we waited some more, but not by choice. I was feeling like our time would never come, and it was really starting to affect me mentally and emotionally, so I took up running and decided to just focus on myself and getting healthy. So we took the "let's just let it happen" approach.  

 
We decided that since it wasn't "just happening", we would really focus on trying to get pregnant. Man is that ever stressful! It became all about schedules and tracking numbers, and then that awful 2 week waiting period until I could take a pregnancy test. After 6 months of stress about not getting pregnant, I got the shingles virus. Weeks of sickness followed, which turned into months, and eventually it was 6 months before I started to feel better. During that time of countless blood tests and Dr.'s visits, I found out I had a thyroid disease (the thyroid produces and regulates all of your hormones), which was likely affecting my ability to get pregnant. I started seeing an Endocrinologist as well as a Naturopath, and I was finally able to start medication and be proactive about getting my health back on track. 
During those couple of years of desperately wanting a baby, I was angry with God. I didn't understand why He would put this desire in my heart if I couldn't have children. I felt embarrassed, angry, sad, and lonely. I was bitter toward others who were having their 2nd, 3rd, 4th child and here we were, with none.
But then I realized that maybe He had another plan for us, and I needed to be open to that. So I began to change my prayers, and ask God how He wanted make us parents. 

In January my husband and I started talking about adoption or foster care as an option. We have always known that we wanted to welcome a child(ren) into our family that needed to be loved, but didn't know if the timing was right. In June when I wrote about being at peace with whatever happened, I had truly accepted the fact that I may never have a biological child, and I was learning to be ok with it. I reconciled with God and was looking forward to whatever He had in store for us. June 26, 2016, I found out I was pregnant!

The thing that has amazed me in all of this hardship, is how God's plan, not our own, really came together. When we started sharing the news that we were pregnant, it was a very emotional time for me. So many people said that they had read my blog post and had been praying for us and for our future baby. Wow! It made me realize more and more that this was not by our own doing, but truly a miracle from God.

Everyone's situation is different, and though the timing is sometimes hard to understand or accept, God has a plan much better than our own. Looking back now, I can see that. 

If you are struggling to get pregnant or are going through something in your life that is preventing you from having children, there are tons of resources out there to support you. I am no expert, but if you do need a listening ear I am always here to listen. 
Feel free to email me littleredpurse.blog@gmail.com.

It was such a shock for my husband and I when we found out, but we are so excited!

One of the first questions people always ask is how did I find out I was pregnant?
I had been in a routine since we started trying to get pregnant, and calculating the days when I could take the next pregnancy test. I had had a busy weekend with family, and was not really thinking too much about it - since the result had been the same disappointment month after month. It was late Sunday afternoon and I was home alone, so I decided to take a pregnancy test (without any expectations what-so-ever!). I was beside myself when I saw those two pink lines appear... I didn't know what to think or how to react! I was so used to getting the same result, and tossing yet another pregnancy test in the trash, that second line empty. I sat on my bedroom floor and cried, then went back to the bathroom to check that the test was still positive, then just prayed and thanked God for this amazing miracle.

This is our 13 week ultrasound. I am now 15 weeks 2 days and we are looking foward to our next ultrasound (at 19 weeks) when we can find out the gender! I still can't believe this is really happening!

It's been a crazy past few days! We had our 2 year wedding anniversary on Monday, and talked about when we wanted to start having kids, what we wanted to happen before that, etc.
One of our biggest concerns was having a baby while living in our current apartment for various reasons. We decided to look at a house that went up for rent in a nearby area, and thankfully it was in our budget (other houses that have gone up for rent in the past few months were almost double!). Tuesday evening we met with the rental agent and knew that it was perfect for us the minute we walked in! We scrambled to get our paperwork together and met with him the following night to sign the lease. 
We just gave our notice to leave our current apartment and are now looking forward to moving into our first house on July 1! I can't believe it all happened so quickly, but we know that God's hand was in this situation and was guiding us the whole way through.

These are just a few photos I took while walking through, hopefully once we get the keys I can take some good before pictures. 
So that is our new little abode. We can't wait to get in there and start painting and making it our own. It is very fresh and clean already which is nice, so hopefully we can settle in and feel at home quickly.
I'll update you with my decor ideas for each room in the next couple of weeks, so check back soon!

I don't want to send anyone into a frenzy, because I am not pregnant, but I have been thinking about it a lot lately; What will it be like? Will I become an emotional basket case? (my husband jokes about that) Will I enjoy it, or just wish I could get that baby out asap?! Will I experience post-partum depression? Will I have that instant, unbreakable bond with my baby?
There is so much to think about!


My husband and I have been together for 9.5 years, and married for 1.5 years, so it's definitely something that we have been talking about. We are both in the beginning stages of our dream careers, so it's hard to know how much time to put into that before starting a family. I have days where I just want a baby so badly, but then I try and cherish the quiet moments we have together and the time we can spend alone.

I just wanted to share these thoughts because I want to remember these times. To let my children know that I thought about them and dreamed about them long before they even existed. To my future babies, I love you and can not wait to meet you!

I wanted to come back to a subject that is a big part of my life, but is never really talked about. My depression. Almost exactly a year after writing this post, a lot has changed. I have read a lot of blogs, articles, research etc. about depression to try and get as educated as I can, so I can help others who struggle with this as well.

Starting a new marriage, a new life, pursuing dreams was not easy when I had no motivation or energy to even get out of bed in the morning. I didn't want to start my marriage off feeling helpless and putting all responsibilities onto my husband. With the support of my family and constant love and care from my husband, I decided I needed to do something about it.


Making the decision to take medication was very difficult, but after trying to do things the 'natural' way for over a year, it was the best option for me. I'm sharing this because there are many people who are struggling right now, but are too afraid to take medication because of the negative stigma that is attached. I spoke with my doctor about different options and did a lot of research before making this decision. I would highly suggest doing the same if you are looking into different treatments so that you feel comfortable with your choice. Some questions I've gotten are: "Does it make you feel weird?" The answer is NO! It makes me feel normal again. I loved this quote from a blog I found discussing Cipralex, "It won't make you do things you don't want to do, it will just help you do the things you do want to do." {source}

There are not really words to describe the transition that I've gone through over these past months, but I am so happy to say that they have been the best 5 months of my life! Not to say that is was easy experiencing every side effect possible for the first month, but it was so worth it. I kept a journal during that time to keep track of my progress and to be able to see how far I had come, and looking back on it now, I wish I had done it sooner. Being able to experience pure joy is something that many people take for granted, but it's something that I longed to feel. That sense of peace and contentment makes each day so much more enjoyable and not a battle against my own will. I am able to be fully present and connect with people on a whole new level because my mind is settled and able to concentrate again. I have what you would categorize as "Mild Clinical Depression". This means that there is a chemical imbalance in the brain, which inhibits the release of serotonin (chemical your body produces that's needed for your nerve cells and brain to function). I won't get into the medical side of this, but let me just tell you that is does not only affect your mood, it affects every aspect of your life.

In some ways, I feel like a whole new me, and in others,  I am just back to the old me. I wanted to share this with you because I feel like I have won some sort of victory. Life was a constant battle and now it is just an amazing journey that I can begin to experience.
Thank you to those who have supported me through the good, the bad and the very difficult times, I know I would not be at this place in my life without you.

It's unbelievable to me that my husband and I are already celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary this weekend. It seemed to take forever to finally get to this point in my life, but I wouldn't change a thing. Perspective can be hard to find when you are in the middle of something, but looking back, it's all working out in God's perfect plan.





I feel so blessed to have found such an amazing man to be with for the rest of my life. Today I want to say a big Thank-you to him for being so self-less, loving, and hilarious. I can't wait for the next 50 years together.

Do you ever have those moments where there's so many thoughts and dreams and doubts going on in your head you just don't even know where to start? Well, I don't really know where to start, but today I wanted to share a little piece of my heart and what's been going on in it lately.

In seeking God's favor for my life, and specifically my new marriage, I found this proverb very encouraging and hope that I can be a wife of noble character. I am no expert on marriage, or how to be a wife, or a new business owner, so what better standards to live by than God's.


A Proverb to live by: A wife of noble Character 

10“Who can find a wife with a strong character?
She is worth far more than jewels.
¹¹ Her husband trusts her with all his heart,
    and he does not lack anything good.
¹² She helps him and never harms him all the days of her life.

I have been married for 2 weeks already, and it's been amazing.
There are things we expect, and of course the unexpected, and some little surprises that have made me smile. I just wanted to share some reflections of these past 2 weeks with you, because I know it's only the beginning of more wonderful unexpected little surprises.

Of course with being a newlywed comes with many firsts, which we are slowly discovering...

On our first trip together as husband and wife, the honeymoon, I quickly learned that my hubby is the "protector of our travel documents". I was not allowed to hold onto my own passport since I tend to lose things at the most inopportune times. It was nice to know he has things under control and I didn't have to worry about anything.

One of our first days living together, I noticed husband was using the wrong towel. There are 3 different sizes for a reason! Right? I had to explain that the small square towel was for your face ONLY, medium size is a hand towel, and of course the bath towels. We both laughed about it in the end.

And one of the things that I have loved the most, is my husband's pure and genuine love. He makes me tea at the exact time I need it without even asking me, he plays with my hair as we fall asleep, prays for me each night, and this morning I found this sweet little love note on a paper napkin when I got in the car. I didn't think I could fall any deeper in love with him, but I guess I was wrong.