It's such a special milestone in life to be able to give birth to a child, so I wanted to be sure to write out my son's birth story while it is still fresh in my mind. This is the story of how Riley Sameer came into the world.

Tuesday June 18, 2019
I wouldn’t say that labour started on Tuesday, but things were definitely happening! I wasn’t sure exactly how I was feeling, but I was having a lot of discomfort and pressure to the point that I couldn’t stand up. This lasted about an hour, but from then on I could feel that the baby had shifted.
Thursday June 20, 2019
On Thursday I had an appointment with my OB and he said that the baby was “in position” and could come at any time. I was already 3 cm dilated so he was guessing I would go into labour or baby would arrive within the next 48 hours! He is a seasoned Obstetrician so I was hoping he was right, but he said to call Monday morning for an U/S if nothing had happened yet. I decided to get a stretch and sweep procedure done which can help move things along, especially since I was already dilated.

We had plans to have dinner at my in-laws that night, and I was feeling very uncomfortable the whole time and did not have an appetite at all. I did feel like things were starting to happen but didn’t want to set off any false alarms. I just kept hinting at my husband that we needed to go home in case I was really going into labour. Sure enough once we got home I could feel the first contractions starting around 8:30pm.

Things continued through the night and started to increase in intensity around 2:00am. It seems that’s when  really started and around 4:30am (Friday June 21) I was having regular contractions. I didn’t get much sleep through the night, not necessarily due to a lot of pain, but just the anticipation, knowing that labour had started and this was really happening! We had been nervous about the timing of the birth, due to the fact that my husband only had a specific timeframe off from work, and I really wanted him to be home to support me through the labour and birthing process. I was so relieved when my labour started right on my due date!
By 7:00am sh*t started to get real and I was having stronger contractions, but they were still pretty spaced out, so I was able to cope fairly well (so different from my first labour experience!). At 11:00am I had my first intense contraction and I realized we should probably start considering going to the hospital, since it seemed that things were progressing quickly. I tested positive for the Group B Strep test, so was told I shouldn’t wait too long to go to the hospital so that I could get at least 2 doses of antibiotics if possible before the baby was born. At 12:00pm we decided to call my mother-in-law to come over to watch our daughter and I’m so glad we didn’t wait any longer. The contractions were still about every 9-10 minutes apart, but the intensity was definitely increasing.

When we got to the hospital at 1:30pm I was assessed and was already 5cm dilated. I was so thankful to be admitted and to know that we were going to meet our baby soon! The first couple of hours were very uneventful, and I was worried that things had slowed down. The contractions were strong and intense, but still far enough apart that I could manage and get rest in between. The nurse asked if I wanted an epidural before the Anesthesiologist went to the OR to prep for a C-section, which would be about 45-60 minutes wait. At this point I was feeling pretty good and strong, and I could possibly go without at this point. I declined the epidural, and not even 10 minutes later my contractions got super painful and very close together. I was having contractions almost one after another, so as soon as one would start to slow down I could feel another one coming on.
The nurse suggested I try the bath for some relief while I waited for the epidural and at this point I was willing to try anything that could help. I didn’t find it was helping and the pain was so intense so the nurse called to see if the Anesthesiologist could come any sooner. By some miracle he could, so she rushed me out of the bath and ran me down the hall back to my room as quickly as possible to get prepped. The contractions were so close together that I was having a hard time sitting still enough for him to do the freezing and epidural, but we got it done. I was so thankful to hopefully start getting some relief! Unfortunately that relief never came, since it was too late and the epidural didn’t work! I am proud of myself for getting through such pain without medication, and how I was able to channel all that energy into pushing. I felt very much in control of my body without the epidural and was able to self-direct my pushing which was amazing. I think I pushed only about 6 times and our baby boy made his entrance into the world! It was such a feeling of relief that I wasn’t even concerned about what the sex of the baby was, I just wanted to see him!




Riley Sameer was born on June 21, 2019, at 6:51pm. He weighed 8 lbs 8 oz! I still can’t believe I gave birth to such a big baby!


My labour and delivery was completely different from my daughter, and I am grateful for the experience that I had this time around. I think it also helped knowing what was ahead of me and being able to prepare mentally for it. I am thankful for my L&D nurse who advocated for me and encouraged me through each step. She went over every detail of my birth plan when we arrived and made sure that we were able to get the best care according to those requests. One of my big concerns going into this delivery was that I wouldn’t just be a “learning opportunity” for someone, as I had felt with my daughter’s birth. I hated having so many people in the room just observing and even practicing their skills on me. This time I was able to just have my husband, midwife, nurse and doctor in the room to help me deliver and I felt much more at ease knowing I was in good hands.

We are still adjusting to life with a new baby and very active two year old, but we are so thankful for our baby boy and I can't wait to watch him grow. 

It's funny how once you have a baby you suddenly feel like each holiday/ season needs to be perfectly documented, so you can remember that time you went to the pumpkin patch and said baby cried the whole time. It's not quite the memory we were hoping to make, but at least we managed to get a few photos between the tears. Maybe she'll come around next year.

If you read my previous post, you would have read about our tumultuous flight home from Florida, but today I'd like to share the happier bits about our trip.

We stayed at the Hilton Embassy Suites in one of their 2 room corner suites, which was perfect for traveling with the baby. She could sleep in the bedroom while we still had our own space to hang out without disrupting her.


We had some free time to explore as a family, so one day we went to Riviera Beach where Maya had her first experience in the ocean! She loved it, but it was so hot outside that the water wasn't refreshing, so we didn't stay very long. One evening we walked down Worth Avenue, a popular high end shopping street and down to the beach. Again, it was so hot that we didn't last too long outside, so we made our way to dinner from there.

Being a mother is the most exhausting, exciting, and as cliche as it sounds - rewarding experience. My husband and I are constantly amazed at how much this little human has changed our lives and our hearts. I have written about my journey to motherhood, so I wanted to share some thoughts 6 months into this new gig.

The Dirty Truth
When it comes to housework, my house is definitely not as clean as it used to be and my clean laundry usually sits in the basket for a few days before I finally fold and put it away. Personal hygiene is a whole other story! I'd consider it a productive day if I actually brush my hair and put on mascara, and I currently only have one shaved leg because my daughter woke up from her nap in the middle of my shower yesterday.
It's funny how my standards have been lowered now that I am a mother, not because I don't care, but because my daughter is far more important than housework and shaved legs.


Motherhood has changed me in ways that I didn't expect it would. It has changed the way I see myself, the way I relate to others, and how I react to situations around me.
My husband says that I am a "no bullsh*t" kind of girl, which I am okay with. There is nothing more important to me than the well being of my family, and if anyone tries to mess with that, I am not afraid to say something. There is this innate instinct to protect those that I love, and it has become even more apparent now that I am a mother.

Being the type-A personality that I am, I love making lists and planning things out. As I look back on my previous Bucket List's (2012, 2013, 2014) it's fun to see a recap of the exciting events from the year.  

Even though we are already half way through the year, I wanted to share my list with you. There's something about sharing it that makes me more motivated to get things checked off. Some are bucket list items and others are goals that I have to start a healthier, more well-rounded lifestyle.

 

2017 "To Do" List

1. I was finally be able to check off "Have a Baby"!
2. Go on a family vacation: We are hoping to be able to go to Calgary, Alberta in the Fall.

3. Buy our first house: We are in the process of moving into our new home! More on that coming soon.
4. Read more: I have an ever growing list of books that I have wanted to dive into, and I think I will finally get a library card and start checking off some books this year.

5. Develop and maintain an exercise routine with my husband
6. Join a mom's group

7. Find a home church

8. Learn to cook at least 5 new meals
9. Find a creative outlet

10. Live simply: I have been reflecting on this a lot lately as we pack up our house. I am looking forward to a fresh start with less "stuff" and more focus on things that really matter. I have also been thinking about how we want to raise our family and what kind of environment we can create so that our daughter has a peaceful and nurturing environment.


What are some things you have on your To Do list for this year? What have you accomplished so far? 

There is a lot of talk about breastfeeding as a new mom.
Questions like, "How is your baby breastfeeding? Did he/she have any problems with latching? How often does your baby feed?" You may notice that the questions are usually about baby, and not how mother's may be doing with it.
Just like every woman has their own birth story, each will have their own experience with breastfeeding as well. I think it's important to nurture conversations with mother's about their postpartum health and how they are coping with things such as breastfeeding, so as part of the Honest Company's Judgement-free feeding campaign, I'm sharing my personal experience with breastfeeding.
I grew up in a community where breastfeeding is "the norm", and women sit together in a room and have conversations over tea while breastfeeding their child. Being the private person that I am, the thought of having to do this when I became a mother was anxiety inducing (and still is). Would I have to become one of those women, sitting on the couch socializing with her boob out for everyone to see?! I feel like our society puts so much pressure on mother's to "be free" because breastfeeding is natural and should just be this amazing experience for mother and baby, and shouldn't need to be covered up or confined to a private room. But what if I am just not that kind of woman? What if I want my privacy and alone time with my baby while breastfeeding? 

Breastfeeding has brought out so many different emotions for me. To be completely honest, it was a part of motherhood I really wasn't looking forward to from the beginning. I know the benefits it has for baby (and mom), so it was never really a question as to whether or not I would do it, I just wasn't really looking forward to having a baby hanging off of my breast for the next 6-12 months. In a way, I was dreading it.

That first day and night in the hospital everything went pretty well, and I was feeling pretty good about the whole breastfeeding thing. The next few days, my nipples became very raw, were bleeding, and I couldn't even face the water in the shower because I was in so much pain. I remember texting a friend, "when will it stop feeling like my nipples are being murdered every time my baby feeds?!". I knew it was normal, so continued to push through the pain. 

The day my milk came in was horrible! It happened overnight, so I woke up at 5am to engorged breasts and my baby was unable to latch. She was hungry and crying, and I was in pain and didn't know what to do. I sat in bed with a manual pump, and was able to pump a bottle for her and get some relief for myself. That day was our first doctor's appointment, so thankfully I could speak with her about what to do with my insanely engorged breasts. We decided to head straight to the store afterward to buy an electric breast pump, and it was the best decision we could have made! We got home and my husband set it all up for me, and I sat on the couch getting milked like a cow. I remember sitting there with tears streaming down my cheeks, partly from hormones and also just thankful to be getting relief after hours of pain and distress. I figured if I could get through that day, I could do this.

I have had a few episodes of blocked milk ducts due to an overabundant milk supply (according to the telehealth nurse), and I've had days where I wanted to throw in the towel, but I've managed to keep pushing through. My daughter is now 3 months old and I can say that I am finally feeling more confident and okay with breastfeeding. It's still not something that I really enjoy, but I am carving my own way as a woman and mother.

Breastfeeding doesn't come with a manual that you can follow. Though there are tons of books you can read, classes to attend, and lactation specialists to see, your body and baby are unique and each mother has to choose what works best for her and baby.

My husband and I both wanted to have a baby after about 2 years of being married, but we both agreed that we wanted to be more established and feel financially ready to raise a child. Meanwhile, we were feeling a lot of pressure from the "outside world" to start a family which was really hard because it's not that we didn't want kids, we just weren't ready.


Another year went by and we had moved out of our apartment and into a house. I was so excited for this move because I thought that since we had the space and I was off of birth control, a baby was sure to follow. A few days before our 3 year wedding anniversary I had minor day surgery (on my lady parts), and that meant I needed some time to heal. So we waited some more, but not by choice. I was feeling like our time would never come, and it was really starting to affect me mentally and emotionally, so I took up running and decided to just focus on myself and getting healthy. So we took the "let's just let it happen" approach.  

 
We decided that since it wasn't "just happening", we would really focus on trying to get pregnant. Man is that ever stressful! It became all about schedules and tracking numbers, and then that awful 2 week waiting period until I could take a pregnancy test. After 6 months of stress about not getting pregnant, I got the shingles virus. Weeks of sickness followed, which turned into months, and eventually it was 6 months before I started to feel better. During that time of countless blood tests and Dr.'s visits, I found out I had a thyroid disease (the thyroid produces and regulates all of your hormones), which was likely affecting my ability to get pregnant. I started seeing an Endocrinologist as well as a Naturopath, and I was finally able to start medication and be proactive about getting my health back on track. 
During those couple of years of desperately wanting a baby, I was angry with God. I didn't understand why He would put this desire in my heart if I couldn't have children. I felt embarrassed, angry, sad, and lonely. I was bitter toward others who were having their 2nd, 3rd, 4th child and here we were, with none.
But then I realized that maybe He had another plan for us, and I needed to be open to that. So I began to change my prayers, and ask God how He wanted make us parents. 

In January my husband and I started talking about adoption or foster care as an option. We have always known that we wanted to welcome a child(ren) into our family that needed to be loved, but didn't know if the timing was right. In June when I wrote about being at peace with whatever happened, I had truly accepted the fact that I may never have a biological child, and I was learning to be ok with it. I reconciled with God and was looking forward to whatever He had in store for us. June 26, 2016, I found out I was pregnant!

The thing that has amazed me in all of this hardship, is how God's plan, not our own, really came together. When we started sharing the news that we were pregnant, it was a very emotional time for me. So many people said that they had read my blog post and had been praying for us and for our future baby. Wow! It made me realize more and more that this was not by our own doing, but truly a miracle from God.

Everyone's situation is different, and though the timing is sometimes hard to understand or accept, God has a plan much better than our own. Looking back now, I can see that. 

If you are struggling to get pregnant or are going through something in your life that is preventing you from having children, there are tons of resources out there to support you. I am no expert, but if you do need a listening ear I am always here to listen. 
Feel free to email me littleredpurse.blog@gmail.com.

If you read my Baby Registry post, you'll see some of the same items, however, there are definitely things that I have tried and don't like as much as I thought I would.


1. Electric Breast Pump
The day my milk came in was horrible. It happened overnight, so I woke up at 5am to engorged breasts and my baby was unable to latch. She was hungry and upset, and I sat in bed with a manual pump for 30 minutes in order to pump a bottle for her and get relief for myself. The next day we bought the Medela pump in style breast pump which has been one of the best investments we have made. 

2. Lanolin Nipple cream
I was recommended the Lansinoh Lanolin nipple cream from many mom's and found it really did help in those first few weeks as my body adjusted to breast feeding every couple of hours. It doesn't change the fact that it feels like your nipple's are being murdered while baby feeds, but it does protect them from severe cracks.

3. Disposable nursing pads
I tried these organic washable breast pads, but found that they would stick to my skin and was painful to peel off of my already tender breasts, and they also didn't have any shape. I now use the Lansinoh disposable nursing pads, which I like the best out of any I've tried. They are thin and lightweight, but absorb very well and keep your skin dry no matter how full they get!

4. Nursing tank
I spent the first few weeks at home in this Medela nursing tank. It's super soft, breathable and wireless, so can be worn day to night. It also has tummy slimming stretch which helps you feel more comfortable when you still have that post-partum belly to dress.  

5. Slip on shoes
This one might sound strange, but in my last month of pregnancy, bending over to tie my shoes became a struggle! I know some women also experience swelling in those last weeks as well, so a comfy pair of shoes is great. I bought a similar pair to this, and have been thankful to have them in this first month as well during my recovery period. 

Being a new mom, I am always learning! Now that we have made it through the first month, I thought I'd share my must-have's for you first time mom's that are preparing for a new babe. 


1. Lots of receiving blankets!
This is something that I did not have enough of. In my naivety, I didn't realize how much I would use them and how quickly they get dirty.

2. Sleeping sack
We tried the traditional swaddling, but she hates having her arms tucked in in any way, so thankfully I had this NB sleeping sack. It also makes night time diapers changes really easy.

3. Bouncy chair
We received the My Little Lamb bouncer from our registry, and I don't know what I would have done without it. The first few nights at home were tough, and she ended up sleeping in over for part of the night since it was the only thing that would settle her.


4. Snot sucker
I am not usually one to fall into the trap of "fad" items, but after trying a different snot sucker that did not work at all, we ended up buying the very popular Nose Frida snot sucker. It's amazing! It lives up to the hype and though the price was a bit ridiculous, we use it all the time.

5. Dock-a-Tot
Speaking of fad items, let's talk about the Dock-a-Tot. It's a product that I had seen all over instagram and mom blogs, and I really wanted it! Then I looked at the cost and we decided we would make due with the bassinet we already had. After a few weeks of restless nights trying to get baby to sleep after feedings, we decided to bite the bullet and get the Deluxe model. Let me just say that the extra hours of sleep we are getting is worth every penny!

You can see my Registry must-have list here. Stay tuned for my Mama must-haves!

I have always enjoyed reading birth stories and dreamed of the day when I could have this incredible experience for myself. While it is the most pain I have ever experienced in my life, it was also the most amazing feeling, knowing that my body was made for this.


Saturday, March 11 was my 30^th birthday and it started at 5am with the first twinge of real contractions. I had been having consistent Braxton-Hick contractions through the week, so I could tell that this was different. I spent the day in some discomfort but it was brief and manageable. We had plans to spend the evening with my family to celebrate my birthday, so we continued as usual. While we were out the contractions were intensifying! I would try and bear the pain silently, but my mom (having her maternal instincts) could tell that I was struggling to stay comfortable. We cut the night short, and almost immediately after getting home, around 9pm, I had the first really strong contraction. They continued to be consistent every hour through the night, then every 45 minutes by early morning. I had the urge to pee after every contraction, so was able to notice the passing of the mucus plug, and thought that surely my water would break shortly after (which it did not).