Part II

Friday, June 7, 2013

I wanted to come back to a subject that is a big part of my life, but is never really talked about. My depression. Almost exactly a year after writing this post, a lot has changed. I have read a lot of blogs, articles, research etc. about depression to try and get as educated as I can, so I can help others who struggle with this as well.

Starting a new marriage, a new life, pursuing dreams was not easy when I had no motivation or energy to even get out of bed in the morning. I didn't want to start my marriage off feeling helpless and putting all responsibilities onto my husband. With the support of my family and constant love and care from my husband, I decided I needed to do something about it.

Making the decision to take medication was very difficult, but after trying to do things the 'natural' way for over a year, it was the best option for me. I'm sharing this because there are many people who are struggling right now, but are too afraid to take medication because of the negative stigma that is attached. I spoke with my doctor about different options and did a lot of research before making this decision. I would highly suggest doing the same if you are looking into different treatments so that you feel comfortable with your choice. Some questions I've gotten are: "Does it make you feel weird?" The answer is NO! It makes me feel normal again. I loved this quote from a blog I found discussing Cipralex, "It won't make you do things you don't want to do, it will just help you do the things you do want to do." {source}

There are not really words to describe the transition that I've gone through over these past months, but I am so happy to say that they have been the best 5 months of my life! Not to say that is was easy experiencing every side effect possible for the first month, but it was so worth it. I kept a journal during that time to keep track of my progress and to be able to see how far I had come, and looking back on it now, I wish I had done it sooner. Being able to experience pure joy is something that many people take for granted, but it's something that I longed to feel. That sense of peace and contentment makes each day so much more enjoyable and not a battle against my own will. I am able to be fully present and connect with people on a whole new level because my mind is settled and able to concentrate again. I have what you would categorize as "Mild Clinical Depression". This means that there is a chemical imbalance in the brain, which inhibits the release of serotonin (chemical your body produces that's needed for your nerve cells and brain to function). I won't get into the medical side of this, but let me just tell you that is does not only affect your mood, it affects every aspect of your life.

In some ways, I feel like a whole new me, and in others,  I am just back to the old me. I wanted to share this with you because I feel like I have won some sort of victory. Life was a constant battle and now it is just an amazing journey that I can begin to experience.
Thank you to those who have supported me through the good, the bad and the very difficult times, I know I would not be at this place in my life without you.

{photo by Leydon Photography}


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2 Responses to “Part II”

  1. Hi Leah. I have so much admiration and respect for you for writing such an honest and genuine post. I remember reading your original post over a year ago before I had a blog, and thinking that it was so brave of you to write that (in a good way). To see this now makes me so happy for you. I totally agree there is a stigma attached to depression medication, but there shouldn't be. I applaud people like you who try to change that stigma and act as an inspiration for those going through the same things. I think everyone has an issue they are going through, whether it be depression, anxiety etc and people like you will really make it easier for people going through similar things that you once did. You have to do whats right for you. Again, I am so happy for you! You deserve all the best things in life and I also wish you all the best on your business (which btw I want to interview you about for my blog .. an email will come shortly!). xo

  2. There is nothing wrong with taking medicine...just like there is nothing wrong with doing what will make you happy.


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