Real Life

Thursday, January 1, 2015

A New Year - 2015

I have not posted on here for a while, but seeing as it's January 1st, I thought I'd start off the new year by sharing a bit of what's been happening in real life. 

Previously, I wrote [this post], and to be completely honest, it's something that's on my mind every day. I have been thinking about pregnancy more and more over the past few months, and it's something that I'm really struggling with.


Family members are asking if I'm pregnant yet, or joking about when I'm going to get pregnant.
I have people I barely even know asking me when I am going to have a baby! It's a huge decision and I don't think anyone else has the right to dictate when my husband and I decide to have a baby.

On the other hand, I have secret Pinterest boards about nursery decor, maternity fashion, exercising when pregnant, but I don't want anyone to know that it's something I want so desperately right now. I just laugh and pretend it's something we aren't ready for yet. The truth is, I want so badly to be a mama!

 

I am at a point in my life right now, where my social media feed has become nothing but baby bumps and newborn babies. I've neglected my personal Facebook and Twitter accounts, since I am usually left feeling inadequate. Not to say that I don't care about these beautiful new faces, it's just hard to see a new pregnancy or birth announcement every time I log on.

I have cried myself to sleep a couple of times, wishing I had a sleeping baby in my arms. I try to remind myself that these are the golden years of uninterrupted sleep. I have dreamt about the day that my husband and I bring our little bundle home, proudly introduce them to the world, and love them so much that it hurts. Sometimes, the emotions are too much to hold in any longer, so this is my quiet place where I can share my heart. 

I know that my plans are not always His plans, but my prayer is that 2015 will bring a new baby into our lives, and that God will bless us richly with his love and wisdom.

Happy New Year!
images via Tumblr | Etsy

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