You have seen the wedding photos, and the showers etc. with all of those big happy smiling faces...but what you don't know, is that I struggle with minor depression. It's something that very few people know about me. Not even some of my own family. Sometimes it's just easier that way. But I have felt like God put this struggle in my life for a reason, and I don't want to disregard that tug on my heart to share my story with you.
I had this nagging little feeling inside of me. I didn't know why. It would come and go so it was easy to ignore. It was easy to say, oh I am just tired from being a busy student, oh I am just sad because I miss my bf or my family, oh I am just having a bad day. It wasn't until recently, that I was watching a documentary on depression. Everything clicked. Everything made sense. It scared me to death to hear what these people were saying, because I could relate so well. It was also a sense of relief.
The scary and most frustrating part, is that depression will just sneak up on you. You can be anywhere, having a great time and it will just drop on top of you like a water bomb. You know that feeling when you are just shocked at first, and you stand there not sure what to do because you are dripping wet. You aren't sure whether to laugh or cry or just run away so it can't hit you again. It is hard to describe, because a lot of times, you don't even know how you are feeling or you are just void of any emotion at all. Some people cry a lot, some people sleep a lot, others overeat or don't eat at all. It's different for everyone, but the important thing for anyone who is struggling with depression, is to be surrounded by people who love you unconditionally. People who don't need answers, who can look at you and see you are suffering and stand by you through it all, who will just hold you tight without saying a word. I am blessed to have those people in my life and I know that I can make it through each day because I have them behind me and my God before me.
If you are struggling with anything, don't be afraid to tell someone. Let them be your support, and love you through it.