We are quickly approaching the arrival of our second child and I am still trying to figure out what we need this time around. I am trying to be more conscious about what I invest in for myself and our family these days, which means it's taken me a lot longer to decide on what to buy.

There is a lot of talk about breastfeeding as a new mom.
Questions like, "How is your baby breastfeeding? Did he/she have any problems with latching? How often does your baby feed?" You may notice that the questions are usually about baby, and not how mother's may be doing with it.
Just like every woman has their own birth story, each will have their own experience with breastfeeding as well. I think it's important to nurture conversations with mother's about their postpartum health and how they are coping with things such as breastfeeding, so as part of the Honest Company's Judgement-free feeding campaign, I'm sharing my personal experience with breastfeeding.
I grew up in a community where breastfeeding is "the norm", and women sit together in a room and have conversations over tea while breastfeeding their child. Being the private person that I am, the thought of having to do this when I became a mother was anxiety inducing (and still is). Would I have to become one of those women, sitting on the couch socializing with her boob out for everyone to see?! I feel like our society puts so much pressure on mother's to "be free" because breastfeeding is natural and should just be this amazing experience for mother and baby, and shouldn't need to be covered up or confined to a private room. But what if I am just not that kind of woman? What if I want my privacy and alone time with my baby while breastfeeding? 

Breastfeeding has brought out so many different emotions for me. To be completely honest, it was a part of motherhood I really wasn't looking forward to from the beginning. I know the benefits it has for baby (and mom), so it was never really a question as to whether or not I would do it, I just wasn't really looking forward to having a baby hanging off of my breast for the next 6-12 months. In a way, I was dreading it.

That first day and night in the hospital everything went pretty well, and I was feeling pretty good about the whole breastfeeding thing. The next few days, my nipples became very raw, were bleeding, and I couldn't even face the water in the shower because I was in so much pain. I remember texting a friend, "when will it stop feeling like my nipples are being murdered every time my baby feeds?!". I knew it was normal, so continued to push through the pain. 

The day my milk came in was horrible! It happened overnight, so I woke up at 5am to engorged breasts and my baby was unable to latch. She was hungry and crying, and I was in pain and didn't know what to do. I sat in bed with a manual pump, and was able to pump a bottle for her and get some relief for myself. That day was our first doctor's appointment, so thankfully I could speak with her about what to do with my insanely engorged breasts. We decided to head straight to the store afterward to buy an electric breast pump, and it was the best decision we could have made! We got home and my husband set it all up for me, and I sat on the couch getting milked like a cow. I remember sitting there with tears streaming down my cheeks, partly from hormones and also just thankful to be getting relief after hours of pain and distress. I figured if I could get through that day, I could do this.

I have had a few episodes of blocked milk ducts due to an overabundant milk supply (according to the telehealth nurse), and I've had days where I wanted to throw in the towel, but I've managed to keep pushing through. My daughter is now 3 months old and I can say that I am finally feeling more confident and okay with breastfeeding. It's still not something that I really enjoy, but I am carving my own way as a woman and mother.

Breastfeeding doesn't come with a manual that you can follow. Though there are tons of books you can read, classes to attend, and lactation specialists to see, your body and baby are unique and each mother has to choose what works best for her and baby.

If you read my Baby Registry post, you'll see some of the same items, however, there are definitely things that I have tried and don't like as much as I thought I would.


1. Electric Breast Pump
The day my milk came in was horrible. It happened overnight, so I woke up at 5am to engorged breasts and my baby was unable to latch. She was hungry and upset, and I sat in bed with a manual pump for 30 minutes in order to pump a bottle for her and get relief for myself. The next day we bought the Medela pump in style breast pump which has been one of the best investments we have made. 

2. Lanolin Nipple cream
I was recommended the Lansinoh Lanolin nipple cream from many mom's and found it really did help in those first few weeks as my body adjusted to breast feeding every couple of hours. It doesn't change the fact that it feels like your nipple's are being murdered while baby feeds, but it does protect them from severe cracks.

3. Disposable nursing pads
I tried these organic washable breast pads, but found that they would stick to my skin and was painful to peel off of my already tender breasts, and they also didn't have any shape. I now use the Lansinoh disposable nursing pads, which I like the best out of any I've tried. They are thin and lightweight, but absorb very well and keep your skin dry no matter how full they get!

4. Nursing tank
I spent the first few weeks at home in this Medela nursing tank. It's super soft, breathable and wireless, so can be worn day to night. It also has tummy slimming stretch which helps you feel more comfortable when you still have that post-partum belly to dress.  

5. Slip on shoes
This one might sound strange, but in my last month of pregnancy, bending over to tie my shoes became a struggle! I know some women also experience swelling in those last weeks as well, so a comfy pair of shoes is great. I bought a similar pair to this, and have been thankful to have them in this first month as well during my recovery period.