My husband and I both wanted to have a baby after about 2 years of being married, but we both agreed that we wanted to be more established and feel financially ready to raise a child. Meanwhile, we were feeling a lot of pressure from the "outside world" to start a family which was really hard because it's not that we didn't want kids, we just weren't ready.


Another year went by and we had moved out of our apartment and into a house. I was so excited for this move because I thought that since we had the space and I was off of birth control, a baby was sure to follow. A few days before our 3 year wedding anniversary I had minor day surgery (on my lady parts), and that meant I needed some time to heal. So we waited some more, but not by choice. I was feeling like our time would never come, and it was really starting to affect me mentally and emotionally, so I took up running and decided to just focus on myself and getting healthy. So we took the "let's just let it happen" approach.  

 
We decided that since it wasn't "just happening", we would really focus on trying to get pregnant. Man is that ever stressful! It became all about schedules and tracking numbers, and then that awful 2 week waiting period until I could take a pregnancy test. After 6 months of stress about not getting pregnant, I got the shingles virus. Weeks of sickness followed, which turned into months, and eventually it was 6 months before I started to feel better. During that time of countless blood tests and Dr.'s visits, I found out I had a thyroid disease (the thyroid produces and regulates all of your hormones), which was likely affecting my ability to get pregnant. I started seeing an Endocrinologist as well as a Naturopath, and I was finally able to start medication and be proactive about getting my health back on track. 
During those couple of years of desperately wanting a baby, I was angry with God. I didn't understand why He would put this desire in my heart if I couldn't have children. I felt embarrassed, angry, sad, and lonely. I was bitter toward others who were having their 2nd, 3rd, 4th child and here we were, with none.
But then I realized that maybe He had another plan for us, and I needed to be open to that. So I began to change my prayers, and ask God how He wanted make us parents. 

In January my husband and I started talking about adoption or foster care as an option. We have always known that we wanted to welcome a child(ren) into our family that needed to be loved, but didn't know if the timing was right. In June when I wrote about being at peace with whatever happened, I had truly accepted the fact that I may never have a biological child, and I was learning to be ok with it. I reconciled with God and was looking forward to whatever He had in store for us. June 26, 2016, I found out I was pregnant!

The thing that has amazed me in all of this hardship, is how God's plan, not our own, really came together. When we started sharing the news that we were pregnant, it was a very emotional time for me. So many people said that they had read my blog post and had been praying for us and for our future baby. Wow! It made me realize more and more that this was not by our own doing, but truly a miracle from God.

Everyone's situation is different, and though the timing is sometimes hard to understand or accept, God has a plan much better than our own. Looking back now, I can see that. 

If you are struggling to get pregnant or are going through something in your life that is preventing you from having children, there are tons of resources out there to support you. I am no expert, but if you do need a listening ear I am always here to listen. 
Feel free to email me littleredpurse.blog@gmail.com.

There are many books, websites and blogs that you can read to help you prepare for pregnancy, but nothing can really prepare you for what your body is about to go through.


The Good


Getting pregnant is a huge blessing and one that we were praying about for a long time. I am so thankful that I have been given the opportunity to carry a baby.

Besides our engagement/wedding, I have never experienced so much genuine love and excitement from our family and friends, and even people that I don't know well.

My skin hasn't been this clear and soft for over a year, so I have been enjoying wearing minimal makeup these days. Just enough to cover up the dark circles under my eyes!


The Bad
The unwelcomed commentary.
People suddenly feel like it is appropriate to comment on everything, whether it's my weight, the size of my belly or even how tired I look.

Aching muscles and bones that make me feel like an old lady. Before I knew that I was pregnant, I was having very sore calve muscles (which I do usually get when I am overly tired). I wore compression socks to bed, which did help, but it's definitely not something I expected throughout my pregnancy.


The things no one tells you
You've probably heard that your hair will get thicker and shinier, but you will find that hair will start sprouting all over your body! I remember admiring my growing belly one day and noticed that my belly had some excess peach fuzz growing and I've noticed more facial hair as well - thankfully I am a blonde.

Body fluids will be out of control due to higher amounts of estrogen and increase in blood flow in your body. Runny nose, excess discharge, and a lot more sweating.

You will struggle with accepting your ever-changing body.
I have been trying to remember that the end is in sight, but already at 31 weeks, I am ready to get this baby out ASAP. The weight gain has been something that I am secretly hating, and I wasn't prepared for the huge transformation that my body was about to go through. I have been generally the same weight throughout my adult years, and have always been an active person. I have not had the energy or desire to exercise for the latter part of my pregnancy, which I know hasn't helped with my self-esteem. Let's just say I will be happy once my sweet babe is in my arms instead of my belly and we can go for walks together and I can start to feel like myself again.

Last week was a bit of a stressful one which ended with a visit to the hospital, so I wasn't really up for posting. So, I'm trying to catch up and post last week's update still so that I can keep track of my weekly progress.  

How far along: 28 weeks
Size of baby: Eggplant
Weight gain: 21.4 lbs


What am I wearing: Maternity clothes?
I purchased another pair of pants (duplicate of one I already own, but in black), so am now pretty much set with my maternity wardrobe for the next 2.5 months. With it being Christmas time, I was needing something a little more dressy than the basics that I have been wearing, so I found this dress/top at Forever21 that I can wearing comfortably. I find wearing belts super uncomfortable and add unnecessary strain around my ribs, but I wanted to add a little more shape and colour to this outfit.



Movement: She's moving like crazy! It's not only kicks that I feel these days, but because baby is getting bigger, I can feel her move from one side to another. Or if she's laying more on one side, my belly is very hard and I can feel little feet or shoulders poking me.


Sleep: I tend to wake up around 4:30am some mornings and am unable to sleep for about an hour. But I have been sleeping pretty well for the most part.

Outfit details:
Blouse (dress) w/ belt: Forever21 | Pants (H&M maternity)

I know I skipped week 26, but I felt awful last week because of this never ending cold and really wasn't up for taking pictures. Things have been pretty steady in the last couple of weeks, so not much to update you on in terms of pregnancy changes. I am in my last week of the second trimester, and offically 6 months pregnant. I can't believe only 3 months to go until we get to meet this little babe!

How far along: 27 weeks
Size of baby: Head of lettuce
Weight gain: 20.2 lbs

What am I wearing: Maternity clothes?
My bank account has suffered in the last couple of weeks as my wardrobe was dwindling down to a mere few outfits that fit. I had to buy a couple more maternity pieces (and it pains me how expensive maternity clothes are), but also found some non-maternity pieces at Value Village that I can use to layer.


Pregnancy-wise I have been feeling good. My belly is definitely continuing to grow each week and my belly button is slowly disappearing. This morning I was woken up by a Braxton-hick contraction! It was such a crazy feeling and weird to feel how hard my belly was for that quick moment. Unfortunately my efforts to get rid of this cold haven't worked but I am starting to feel better. 

Movement: Lots of strong movements that can definitely be felt from outside my belly these days. It still takes me by surprise sometimes when I feel a super hard kick!


Sleep: My sleep has been interrupted by my cold this past week, but baby has been on the same sleep schedule as me, so I haven't been woken up through the night from kicking etc. (yet).

What I am most looking forward to: Getting things set up in the nursery and nesting at home as we prepare for our little babe to arrive. 

Outfit details:
V-neck sweater (non-maternity, but a size up): Smart set (thrifted) | Pants: H&M maternity

We are in the middle of Fall and I must say that I am enjoying being pregnant in a season where oversized sweaters and leggings are acceptable. Here's my weekly update for those who have been following my pregnancy journey.

How far along: 24 weeks
Size of baby: Eggplant

What am I wearing: Maternity clothes?
I've officially dug out all of my winter clothes to see what I can fit into before I make the move to buy any more maternity clothes. Things are getting tight, so I stick with maternity bottoms but have been trying to get away with non-maternity tops as long as possible. I've just been layering long tank tops under shorter shirts like this one to try and squeeze out a few more wears. 

Movement: Baby's kicks are getting stronger and it's been crazy to see my stomach moving when she gets going.

Sleep: I have had a few restless nights over the past week which hasn't been fun, but I know it's only going to get worse the bigger my belly gets. *Sigh

Best moment of the week: Getting some of our nursery furniture delivered! Now to put it all together.

If you're a first time mom like me, it's hard to know what you'll need during and after pregnancy. So, I wanted to share a few items that I have loved so far during my 2nd trimester.

1. Maternity pj's
I bought myself this set (which is on sale right now), from Thyme maternity and was going to save it for the hospital, but decided I might as well make use of it now!

2. Wireless bra
With my ever expanding breasts, this wireless bra from GAP has been a life saver! It's honestly the most comfortable bra I have ever owned and I even wear it to bed.

3. Sneakers
With lower back aches and tired legs being an every day occurrence, finding a comfortable and supportive shoe is important. And why not take advantage of all those trendy new styles!

4. Stretch mark cream
There are so many options out there for stretch mark prevention, ranging from inexpensive to ridiculously overpriced, but I have enjoyed using Earth Mama Body Butter. They have a range of organic products that I hope to use after pregnancy and for baby as well.

5. Cute notebook
I know we are in the age of technology, but I still enjoy writing down my weekly updates in my "baby journal". I started a new journal while we were trying to get pregnant and have continued through the weeks of pregnancy.

Here is my 23 week update if you're interested.

Size of baby: Grapefruit
Weight gain: 14.5 lbs

What am I wearing: Maternity clothes?
My outfits are getting less and less interesting, and I always end up wearing the same things. My husband has given me "permission" to go out and buy some new clothes, since every morning I end up going through so many outfits trying to find something to wear. Comfort is key!


Movement: Baby is always moving and I love those little reminders each time that we are going to have a baby!

Sleep: Have been getting as much sleep as possible lately to rest my tired body.

What I'm most looking forward to: Getting started on the nursery this weekend!

I know this week's outfit is not very exciting, but it's a typical work outfit for me these days. I'm learning that dressing this belly is all about comfort and whatever fits!

How far along: 21 weeks
Size of baby: Baby bok choy
Weight gain: 12 lbs


What am I wearing: Maternity clothes? Maternity pants have become my friend. I had gone back and forth with still wearing my regular pants but once I put on my maternity pants, I don't know why I would go back. I am just wearing my regular tops but have noticed that my boobs are looking really big in them this week, since non-maternity shirts don't have nearly as much stretch to them (in the right places). Thankfully I can just throw on a chunky sweater and noone besides me can tell that my boobs have grown almost double the size!



Cravings: Last night I was craving chocolate, so my husband made me a delicious cup of hot chocolate. It was the perfect treat for a cold night, rather than indulging in halloween candy. Those mini chocolate bars are dangerous!

Movement: Now that I know what I am feeling is the baby moving, I can feel movement all day and night. I love it! The kicks have not been strong enough yet for my husband to feel yet, but hopefully in the next couple of weeks as our babe grows stronger.

Sleep: Sleeping "like a baby". Although I don't understand how that saying makes any sense, I have been sleeping really well. I am usually so exhausted by the end of the day that once I crawl into bed, I am asleep within minutes and have been able to sleep soundly through the night.

Best moment of the week: Sharing the gender with some of my family! I will be sharing some of those pictures next week.

What I'm most looking forward to: Sharing the news with the rest of the family this weekend! It is also my cousin's baby shower this weekend, and 4 of my cousins (including her) are all pregnant, so it will be fun to see everyone's growing bellies!

Outfit details:
Sweater: Jacob | Tank: Liz Lange for Target (maternity) | Skinny pants: H&M (maternity) | Flats: Crown Vintage from DSW

I can't believe we are halfway to meeting our little babe! I have a timeline where I mark off each week, and I remember looking at the 20 week mark when I first got pregnant, thinking it was so far away. It has been somewhat of an emotional few days thinking about how far we've come and what we have to look forward to. I will be writing more about our story and the journey to getting pregnant soon.

How far along: 20 weeks
Size of baby: Length of a banana



What am I wearing: Maternity clothes?
Usually when I woke up in the morning, my belly was fairly small and wasn't very round. Then, I woke up one morning last week, and my belly had just popped! So, needless to say, my regular pants have gotten a little snug. I bought another pair of maternity pants and leggings, and have been wearing them for the most part lately, but I can still wear all of my regular shirts since I usually wear them a little bigger anyway.



Movement: I had been noticing more and more quick movements but they were far and few between. This week I had an early morning meeting at work, and I guess the baby wasn't ready to be up quite so early. I was sitting in the boardroom quietly and for about 30 minutes could feel baby moving around so much!

Sleep: Lately I have been waking up at 4:30am, I'll go to bathroom, and then can't get back to sleep. I usually just lay in bed rubbing my belly and thinking about what it will be like to have a baby to wake up to. I'm sure I'll regret saying this, but I'm actually looking forward to early morning feedings/ cuddles in bed while my husband sleeps beside me and probably the cat on the end of the bed.

Best moment of the week: Feeling the baby move!

What I'm most looking forward to: Taking some maternity pictures this weekend that we will use for our gender reveal!

Outfit details:
Top: Old Navy (non-maternity) | Vest: New Balance | Jeans: Old Navy (maternity) | Sneakers: Converse

I started doing some Pre-natal yoga/ stretches this week to keep my muscles loose and hopefully prevent back pain. It's also really helpful to practice calming breathing techniques for labour. As you probably know, YouTube is filled with every kind of video you could imagine, so after the yoga video, the suggested videos that came up were live birth videos! I followed my curiousity and watched two mid-wife assisted water births. Let me tell you, if you have never seen a birth, it brings out all kinds of emotions (especially if you're pregnant)! I was crying the whole time, not out of fear, but more just emotions about this baby growing inside of me, and how amazing our bodies are that we can create and give birth to another human being.
How far along: 18 weeks - I am officially 4 months today!
Size of baby: Baby is the size of a sweet potato

What am I wearing: Maternity clothes? Still wearing my regular clothes, but am slowly packing away clothes that I can no longer fit into anymore. I have only bought a couple of maternity pieces since I got pregnant, but have purchased a couple of long (non-maternity) knit shirts like this one that I can hopefully wear for a while.
Tip: When buying basics like a white tee, look for non-maternity options that you can where throughout your whole pregnancy.

Movement: My mom always says it feels like little flutters or butterflies in your stomach, and last night I fell asleep to the ever so slight butterflies moving around in my belly.
Sleep: Still getting lots of sleep but have noticed myself moving around a lot more to make sure I am not sleeping on my stomach. "They" say the best position after 4 months is on your left side to help with bloodflow, so I have subconsciously been trying to stay on my left side.

Outfit details:
Crocheted cardigan: Forever 21 | Long sleeve tee: Old Navy | Leggings: Aerie | Boots: Winners

I have always enjoyed reading other bloggers pregnancy journey's and especially seeing what they are wearing as their belly grows. Now, it's my turn, and I'm so excited to share my experiences with you as this babe continues to grow.

How far along: 16 weeks
Size of baby: Baby is the size of an avocado
Weight gain: 6lbs, since I ate my way through the first trimester nausea. I feel like I am on track, but it's a little scary gaining weight so quickly.
What am I wearing: Maternity clothes? This outfit is all non-maternity, but I did buy a few maternity pieces that I am already loving! The difference in comfort in so worth it.

Gender: Our next ultrasound is scheduled at 19 weeks, when we will get to find out the gender!
Movement: Sometime's I have thought that I've felt movement, but it's so early and I really don't know if it was or not.
Sleep: I can usually sleep well, until I have to get to go to the bathroom that is... and then I have a hard time getting comfortable again and can't fall back asleep easily. I know it's only going to get worse so I won't complain about the 9-10 hours of sleep I typically get. I'm enjoying it while I can!

Best moment of the week: Feeling like I actually look pregnant and not just like I have a food baby. I have gotten some double takes and it's quite funny because I am still in that awkward in-between stage.
What am I reading: What to Expect when You're Expecting, Common Sense Pregnancy, Hypnobirthing Book.

Outfit details:
Sweater: Joe Fresh | Tank: Kenneth Cole | Necklace: American Eagle | Leggings: H&M | Slip-ons: Old Navy

It was such a shock for my husband and I when we found out, but we are so excited!

One of the first questions people always ask is how did I find out I was pregnant?
I had been in a routine since we started trying to get pregnant, and calculating the days when I could take the next pregnancy test. I had had a busy weekend with family, and was not really thinking too much about it - since the result had been the same disappointment month after month. It was late Sunday afternoon and I was home alone, so I decided to take a pregnancy test (without any expectations what-so-ever!). I was beside myself when I saw those two pink lines appear... I didn't know what to think or how to react! I was so used to getting the same result, and tossing yet another pregnancy test in the trash, that second line empty. I sat on my bedroom floor and cried, then went back to the bathroom to check that the test was still positive, then just prayed and thanked God for this amazing miracle.

This is our 13 week ultrasound. I am now 15 weeks 2 days and we are looking foward to our next ultrasound (at 19 weeks) when we can find out the gender! I still can't believe this is really happening!

A New Year - 2015

I have not posted on here for a while, but seeing as it's January 1st, I thought I'd start off the new year by sharing a bit of what's been happening in real life. 

Previously, I wrote [this post], and to be completely honest, it's something that's on my mind every day. I have been thinking about pregnancy more and more over the past few months, and it's something that I'm really struggling with.

Family members are asking if I'm pregnant yet, or joking about when I'm going to get pregnant.
I have people I barely even know asking me when I am going to have a baby! It's a huge decision and I don't think anyone else has the right to dictate when my husband and I decide to have a baby.

On the other hand, I have secret Pinterest boards about nursery decor, maternity fashion, exercising when pregnant, but I don't want anyone to know that it's something I want so desperately right now. I just laugh and pretend it's something we aren't ready for yet. The truth is, I want so badly to be a mama!

I know I jump around a lot with posting - one day it's fashion, one day it's travel, but that's what I want this little space to be; all the little parts of my life that make up who I am.

Today I wanted to share something that has been on my heart a lot lately - pregnancy.


I'm at that stage in life where everyone I know (and people I follow on the internet) are having a baby. It's an exciting time, but it also stings a little at the same time. I look around and see all of these beautiful mama's and their growing bellies, and I just wish it was me. It's not jealousy, it's just a deep desire to be able to have that experience.

Do you ever feel like an outsider? The only single gal, the unmarried couple, the career focused one?
It's hard to feel like no one relates to you, or you can't relate to anyone else.
My husband and I talk a lot about having kids but we both know that the timing just isn't right. I know that God has a plan for our lives, and those of our future children, but sometimes it's just so darn hard to wait! I pray that God will bless us with healthy little rascals someday, and I'm sure they'll be worth the wait.

I don't want to send anyone into a frenzy, because I am not pregnant, but I have been thinking about it a lot lately; What will it be like? Will I become an emotional basket case? (my husband jokes about that) Will I enjoy it, or just wish I could get that baby out asap?! Will I experience post-partum depression? Will I have that instant, unbreakable bond with my baby?
There is so much to think about!


My husband and I have been together for 9.5 years, and married for 1.5 years, so it's definitely something that we have been talking about. We are both in the beginning stages of our dream careers, so it's hard to know how much time to put into that before starting a family. I have days where I just want a baby so badly, but then I try and cherish the quiet moments we have together and the time we can spend alone.

I just wanted to share these thoughts because I want to remember these times. To let my children know that I thought about them and dreamed about them long before they even existed. To my future babies, I love you and can not wait to meet you!