I decided it was time to get back to the gym. I had been putting it off, and enjoyed many lazy nights on the couch with my hubby eating chips and cookies.
There are several reasons why I gave up on the gym, but I am dedicated to getting back at it! I really want to make it a year of overall change, so what better place to start than with a new fitness plan?!
I am hoping to work hard at getting to the gym 3x per week and doing my own at home work outs on my days off.


I am not doing this for anyone else but myself. I have been really focussing on bettering my life and getting a handle on my depression, and now it's time to shift that focus on my physical health. I'm excited about getting back into shape and pushing myself to be the best person I can be. You can join me! It's time to get motivated friends.

I wanted to come back to a subject that is a big part of my life, but is never really talked about. My depression. Almost exactly a year after writing this post, a lot has changed. I have read a lot of blogs, articles, research etc. about depression to try and get as educated as I can, so I can help others who struggle with this as well.

Starting a new marriage, a new life, pursuing dreams was not easy when I had no motivation or energy to even get out of bed in the morning. I didn't want to start my marriage off feeling helpless and putting all responsibilities onto my husband. With the support of my family and constant love and care from my husband, I decided I needed to do something about it.


Making the decision to take medication was very difficult, but after trying to do things the 'natural' way for over a year, it was the best option for me. I'm sharing this because there are many people who are struggling right now, but are too afraid to take medication because of the negative stigma that is attached. I spoke with my doctor about different options and did a lot of research before making this decision. I would highly suggest doing the same if you are looking into different treatments so that you feel comfortable with your choice. Some questions I've gotten are: "Does it make you feel weird?" The answer is NO! It makes me feel normal again. I loved this quote from a blog I found discussing Cipralex, "It won't make you do things you don't want to do, it will just help you do the things you do want to do." {source}

There are not really words to describe the transition that I've gone through over these past months, but I am so happy to say that they have been the best 5 months of my life! Not to say that is was easy experiencing every side effect possible for the first month, but it was so worth it. I kept a journal during that time to keep track of my progress and to be able to see how far I had come, and looking back on it now, I wish I had done it sooner. Being able to experience pure joy is something that many people take for granted, but it's something that I longed to feel. That sense of peace and contentment makes each day so much more enjoyable and not a battle against my own will. I am able to be fully present and connect with people on a whole new level because my mind is settled and able to concentrate again. I have what you would categorize as "Mild Clinical Depression". This means that there is a chemical imbalance in the brain, which inhibits the release of serotonin (chemical your body produces that's needed for your nerve cells and brain to function). I won't get into the medical side of this, but let me just tell you that is does not only affect your mood, it affects every aspect of your life.

In some ways, I feel like a whole new me, and in others,  I am just back to the old me. I wanted to share this with you because I feel like I have won some sort of victory. Life was a constant battle and now it is just an amazing journey that I can begin to experience.
Thank you to those who have supported me through the good, the bad and the very difficult times, I know I would not be at this place in my life without you.

Many bloggers tend to share the fun and exciting events in their life through their blog. A family vacation, daily outfits, or a house tour. But what about the other half of your life? What about the messy bedroom you sleep in every night, the overgrown grass that you don't have time for, or the personal struggle that you are dealing with? It's easy to hide behind a seemingly perfect mask, but today, I want to share a piece of my real life with you.

You have seen the wedding photos, and the showers etc. with all of those big happy smiling faces...but what you don't know, is that I struggle with minor depression. It's something that very few people know about me. Not even some of my own family. Sometimes it's just easier that way. But I have felt like God put this struggle in my life for a reason, and I don't want to disregard that tug on my heart to share my story with you.
Over the past few years, there have been many events in my life that have shaped the person I am today. Moving away from home to go to University, having a terrible roommate which in turn made me hate school, moving back home and switching schools, missing my bf who was now long distance, and the list goes on. Growing up can be hard. As a teenager and young adult, there are so many decisions to be made and no time to discover who you really are or want to be. We let our parents, or friends, or even the media dictate so many things for us and we get lost in the middle of it all. Let me tell you, it can be confusing.

I had this nagging little feeling inside of me. I didn't know why. It would come and go so it was easy to ignore. It was easy to say, oh I am just tired from being a busy student, oh I am just sad because I miss my bf or my family, oh I am just having a bad day. It wasn't until recently, that I was watching a documentary on depression. Everything clicked. Everything made sense. It scared me to death to hear what these people were saying, because I could relate so well. It was also a sense of relief.

The scary and most frustrating part, is that depression will just sneak up on you. You can be anywhere, having a great time and it will just drop on top of you like a water bomb. You know that feeling when you are just shocked at first, and you stand there not sure what to do because you are dripping wet. You aren't sure whether to laugh or cry or just run away so it can't hit you again. It is hard to describe, because a lot of times, you don't even know how you are feeling or you are just void of any emotion at all. Some people cry a lot, some people sleep a lot, others overeat or don't eat at all. It's different for everyone, but the important thing for anyone who is struggling with depression, is to be surrounded by people who love you unconditionally. People who don't need answers, who can look at you and see you are suffering and stand by you through it all, who will just hold you tight without saying a word. I am blessed to have those people in my life and I know that I can make it through each day because I have them behind me and my God before me.

If you are struggling with anything, don't be afraid to tell someone. Let them be your support, and love you through it.